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Have been working at home for the past few days. Doing endless reports and presentation. Finally, the big storm is over and now I have some time for myself. I have been reflecting about my life yesterday night until now. The more honest I am to myself, the more I start to hate myself and soon build up lots of stress.

Many people know I choose a different path comparing to my peers who enter University and only recently graduated. I decided to took on a roller coaster right which is to be a self employed. Honestly, I had never regret being a self-employed, in fact I am very sure this is the right path for me. I enter the financial industry as an independent consultant after I left the army. I started the career with a great punch but soon i started to slow down and concentrate on my internet business.

Internet business brought wealth to my life but also slow down my growth rate in the past 2 years. It is a love and hate feeling. Being an internet marketer, I started it smoothly despite some failure. But these setback never stop me until I successful reach a 5 digit income level. At my age, earning this income is something I am very proud of, because of this, I began to have some followers and gain some respect in my circle of friends. My lifestyle changes, everything in my room started to be replaced, bought my first car and the second car come by closely after 1 years only. This is when my life reach a downturn point without myself knowing it. Because my internet business is on auto pilot, self generating income by itself, I began to stop my learning curve, I begin to spend more time in learning expensive hobbies especially modifying my precious new car, being to start going tracking and buying gadgets etc.  I spent so much less time in doing productive things to further increase my wealth. In my financial business, I only services my existing clients and seldom prospect new clients. I never feel incorrect for doing this, only feel bad for my manager. I understand manager always want their adviser to be very productive but I decided to do it more like a “part-time”.

Even though throughout this time, I ever push myself to get back to work several time, both in internet and FA business, but it never go long. The only reason is I am too comfortable. Therefore I make a bold move by shutting down several of my major stream of income from internet businesses. It is all about pain and pleasure. I wanted to create pain to myself, I know I cannot be in my current stage for long. And most importantly I know I deserve much better life than what I am getting now, but only if I decided to get up again.

Getting up is not as easy as I thought, until recently. Just like the Tsunami, I activated the earthquake, but the wave took sometime before it hit the shore. I guess the biggest wave just hit me badly. I am still feeling cold now.

Reflecting back, when was the last time when I am very focus in my life. When I decided to sign on in the army and draft out every single details of my life? When I have a mentor whom I always meet her regularly? When I am broke and I need money badly?

I asked myself, why did I stop there and lost the momentum to charge to the next level? Am I happy with what I have achieved so far or I just refuse to move forward or I don’t believe I can reach any better! I think I am just too comfortable for what I have achieved so far. Reflecting and reflecting, I am just enjoying myself being the most successful one in my peers and even many of my senior. So have beening successful almost kill myself in the journeys to dreams?

During these time I have helped many people gain knowledge and wealth, I have help many friends found a new purpose in their life, I have help by sharing my knowledges and introducing them to courses and even my mentor. Right now, my most grateful mentor has even become my good friend loved one. So much of helping others, have I ever stop to help myself during this journey. Maybe I have! I always remember what my mentor has taught me, we must always learn to contribute without asking for returns. To master something is not about learning, the entire process is to Learn, Apply and Teach. Teaching become part of my life since I have followers. My mentor always say there are only 2 effective ways to motivate ourself. One is to get someone to motivate us, else, to motivate others. Yes, I have countless session of motivating people but when is the last time I have been motivated by someone? I understand back in my financial business office, they will always motivate me to come back and start working hard, but it just don’t work for me. When you have reached a certain level ,you just see things differently. When they try to motivate me, I appreciate it but I see only those don’t work on me anymore. Maybe I don’t see the result I want in them, or what they are offering is not what I desire? Countless of excuses but end of the days it is all myself.

Taking about contributing without wanting return, I am a strong believer in this teaching ever since being taught by my mentor. I have benefited a lots from this teaching both in networking , business or simple life until recently when I am put to challenge by my girlfriend. Initially I always argue with her that we must always help people despite the outcome or how they had treat us before. But she always second that and end us in arguments. But recently I started to reflect and I guess I need to find tune this teaching in my life. Sometime people just simply abuse us. Being nice to people, helping people, lending people money and even working FOC for people will reflect well about you. But some people will just take things for granted. I have a habit of making payment for every meals and most of the time people will want to returns back their portion. Sometime close friends we are not calculative as we always take turn to share. But after some reminder from  Elaine, I see a trend in some of my friends who always automatically wait for me to make payment and never bother to ask the total cost and making things worse, if ever they foot the bills, they will ask you to return them the equal share and even calculate it to cents, the worst still haven’t happen yet. If I give more than the right amount, I never get back my change. I hate to say this, but I think I am really being too nice to people. I even argue for them that, I didn’t ask from them so I can’t blame them for not returning. I know if I ever ask one of my friend, he will surly reply me this way. Anyway lesson learned, we can’t be nice to everyone, just don’t be bad to them.

Recently one of my friends who started his own business in some trading and asked me to help him in designing an online platform to market his product so I got my partner to come out with a proposal for him, furthermore I still insisted in special discount in the proposed price but rejected. I don’t know is the price too expensive or he is hoping for a free job again. But I am not happy about it, again I reflected. The only reason is I have pre-set an expectation on him. Because few years back when he started his business and asked me for help in sponsorship, I helped him and contributed $10,000 into the event sponsorship and honestly I didn’t get what they promised, not even 50% not to mention did my business benefited from it. Because I have once helped him, I am thinking if he will now help me by handing my company to handle his web portal project. Sad to say, No. To say I am not bother, I am lying. But it is all my expectation, since he didn’t force me to make the sponsorship initially, and he have a choice not to take up my proposal. It is myself being inbalance, but I learned a hard lesson. We must learn to contribute smartly and gratefully (look clearly) and really don’t expect much return. Not even sub-consiously.

I think I have drifted my topic into my complaining. Anyway reflecting back. I guess I need to talk to someone and I will look for the someone. I cannot always be motivating others and end of the days leaving myself behind. Looking at the other angle, I must not be happy with what I am having now, in fact I am feeling the stress already, since my peers have graduated and started to enter the work force. I must end my high expenditure lifestyle and spend like a successful investor and not like a poor who just strike TOTO.

People who know me will know that I hate to write, and when I really write I am usually in either the lowest or highest point of my life. I guess this is good news for me too. I rather handle these crisis now rather than later. This is a Tsunami, I got to rebuild the entire island again!

I must be focus! First get to the right environment! Friends if you realize I am avoiding you, i am sorry, because the number 1 key to success is the right environment. There is a simple formula, if you want to know your net worth, just find the average net worth of friends you always go out with. It is the same! It is not about the amount of money they have, but the amount of money is equal to the type of mindset and values system they have in this cruel sociality. I feel very tired repelling negative mindset and the best solution is to avoid. You can blame me but one day you will understand, especially when you have children, you will never put your children to play with a group of gangster.  I must start expanding and looking for highly motivated people to talk to and start working together with. I must start finding back my mentor.

It is late afternoon, I must prepare to leave my house for an business presentation. Wish me luck, it is very important to my company!

Jack Lan

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It has been a long time since I am updating my blog. This June has been like a roller coaster month for me.

It started the month with lots of running, firstly the exotic night marathon with my IPPT 2 days later which I failed my 2.4 by 4 seconds. Back in army, IPPT 5 items, the usual standing board jump, pull up, shuttle run and sit up are never a problem to me. But once out of army, exercise and keeping fit soon become a very foreign words to me. While struggling to finish my static station, I still manage to get all 5 points but my 2.4km was a pain. I started running as if I am still a commando active solider, one round in Maju almost killed me. My leg almost refuse to run and my breath was never enough. In the mids of running, I decieded to adopt a different way of running, to sprint and walk, hopefully it can bring me a margin pass. But I am wrong! With the bad effort, I still fail my 2.4 run and with a messy finishing. I almost burn out all my energy. I have no choice and it is just 3 days before my birthday, I NEED to pass it by 5 June before I will be sent to the remedial training usually known as RT. Quickly, back I home, I login to www.ns.sg hoping that I still can book my IPPT on my very last day. Heng, really heng! 5 June 2008 my final day to prove myself and escape from the time wasting RT.

Decided to rest for next big day and not going to train for it. Decided to use a different strategy, a well design strategy to complete my 2.4km in 11.40 ! Choose not to train but to rest because of the “cross country” night marathon which I had completed 4 days ago. I think my muscle need a good rest to really perform. Yes, need strategy, firstly my last strategy to sprint and run was a bull shit method which almost drain me dry. After much thought decided to further break down my goals to complete before 11.40 into smaller goals, usually I will break down the timing into 3 parta, since in Maju camp I only need to run 3 rounds, I will have 3 timing to complete so that I can complete in the desire time I wanted. But I realised this strategy can be further improve by further breaking down into smaller goals and much achiever able timing.

So My final strategy, 8 different timing and to start slow and slowly increase to a comfortable constant speed as long as my timing is met every 400meter. This strategy successful stop me from stopping and leaving great energy for my last 200 meter sprint. I know i made it but not sure what is my timing, and when I collect my result slip and I was SHOCK and a bit disappointed. Why am i disappointed? It show 11.04 which is 4 second to silver awards, 4 seconds more to extra $100. Oh man, I cannot believe I can be so close, in fact my goals was to complete between 11.30-1140. But nevertheless, I passed and escaped the time wasting RT.

Lesson learn after some reflection of myself with this simple IPPT. Sometime we limit ourselves due to our past experience, in the past few IPPT, my 2.4 timing was always between 11.30- 11.50. And I believe that without training, it is impossible for me to achieve Silver award timing which is under 11 minutes. I limit myself with my self belief, but this last IPPT proved to me that I can easily achieve a better timing. Because of this reflection, I decided to always impact and challenge my belief system to BELIEVE I can do much better than what I think I can or cannot.

6 June my big day, my darling bring me to the southern side of Singapore for a rejunevating and relaxing holiday SPA in one of the most luxury resort in Sentosa. The morning didn’t start smoothly because some unexpected stuffs to be completed before I can go link up with my darling. But everything was put aside after some cooling time. We drove to Sentosa and checkin into the 5 star hotel resort. This is my first time staying over in Sentosa. We were warmly greeted and brought to our room. http://www.thesentosa.com/

The room was fantastic and well furnish with a luxury and posh theme. The super king size bed look so comfortable and soft that make us want to jump onto it right away but something stop us! Photo taking first, haha, silly me didn’t bring my Canon Power Shot digital camera along. So we can only take some picture using our phone and PDA. Because we check in quite late, soon we have to prepare for our SPA session at SPA Botentica . Spa Botanica, a 6,000 sq m tropical garden spa, is the first of its kind in Singapore. http://www.spabotanica.com/

We took a short walk, and soon we were well oriented to the entire spa by the friendly staff before we head to our individual changing room to get started. We are hungry, so our spa session started with a light meal before our free and easy relax mud pool. We took our meal in our swim wear and accompany by a huge hungry peacock. Anyway, I ordered a dish call Kingfish Sashimi.

Until now I am still drownling on it. It was well prepared by the chief with a special sauce. Great dish and it is a MUST TRY if you are a Sashimi lover.

After the meal we proceed to use the Mud Pool, The Labyrinth and Swimming Pool at the Spa Gardens. The mud pool is something very new to us. Imagine covering yourself in mud?

This is not the dirty mud in the soccer field after a heavy rain. These are mud imported from Australia volcano which said to be very good to our skins with lots of benefits. Overall fun experience , especially taking off the mud in the warm jacuzzi pool with darling.

After much fun, we proceed to our 2 hour of Spa treatment in a couple room. it is an out door rain forest tropical theme. As usual, I always fall asleep during Spa treatment. After the relaxing treatment, we proceed back to our room and enjoy ourselves before dinner time.

I deiced to pay a visit to one of the most prestigious restaurant in Sentosa. The Cliff, Designed by famed Japanese designer, Yasuhiro Koichi, The Cliff sets new standards in the culinary arts. Perched on a cliff overlooking the South China Sea and blessed with gentle breezes, this alfresco style restaurant is a heaven for connoisseurs of fine seafood and wine. The menu reflects the creative spirit of our Chef de Cuisine Shawn Armstrong who prepares his dishes with a distinct modern French flair.

We ordered a few of their signature dishes even though the serving was reasonable, after the meal we feel extremely full. Great place to dine in but you must be prepare for the bill, got my hint. Haha!

After an relaxing night, we headed back home the next day. Brought my relatives to No Sign Board for a meal, really feel bad didn’t bring the out to tour around for this visit to Singapore. Hope they understand =)

Next day was a running day for me again. 15KM Passion Run at east coast. Woke up 5am and reached east coast with my car fully loaded. A group of us including my sister and kelvin, geng hui and of course my darling took part in the passion run, lucky for us to find a parking load but have to walk 1 km to the start point. I started the run with Kelvin, but after 4KM i begin to fall back slightly as I couldn’t follow his pace since it is still not even half way of the run, i decided to maintain my peace throughout the race rather than pushing to the limit which had been proven in the previous IPPT not workable at my current fitness. Even though I still walk a few distance along the entire run, I still manage to push myself and completed the race 3 minutes more than my targeted timing. I completed my 15KM in 1 hour 33 minute. Despite not achieving my timing, I still feel great since i push hard for the run, after all I did my best and I know I can do better.

After all had completed the races, we toured the sport fair for awhile before we headed back home. Back home I was too tired and fall asleep almost immediately after washing up! It had been a great running week for me.

42KM Night Marathon 2 X IPPT and one 15KM Run all in 7 days! 3 Cheers for myself! But I still need a good rest! I am no longer as fit as my Commando days.

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I am back after one solid day of resting. I must say this marathon is very different from the usual Standard Charter Marathon which I have taken part for 4 years.

Firstly the obvious different was it started in the early morning or should I say late night 12am, comparing to the usual 5-6am flag off timing. Runner who hate to wake up early for run, this is a run you must not miss!

Before the race, I have decided to run the entire race with my manager, Charles Neo. This is his first marathon run and I must said he did extremely well considering his virgin marathon and lack of preparation for the race. Furthermore this marathon is not as easy as the international standard Standard Charter Marathon route, why did I say that? In short, I think this is a “cross country” marathon.

About the running route, even though I felt that it is abit challenging, but I still enjoy it. Why did I say it is challenging or a cross country marathon, simply because we climb bridges, not 1 but at least 4 overhead bridges across major roads and highway. We ran through HDB flats and carparks. We ran through parks and wild vegetation. We ran through muds track and trails. We ran through rivers, canals and roads. And finally, we ran through the silent late night till dawn with cooling weather to heavy downpour.

Really enjoy this run, especially with Charles who never fail to surpise me along the way, he know what I mean. Next time need to have an inspection on you before the run, haha thanks for the 100 PLUS!

Anyway it was a great run, and now I am still suffering from some pains and these pains must be gone when i wake up tomorrow. Because I am running my IPPT test in a few hours time. Really bad planning on my side but since it had been booked, I must do my best to pass the test. I am not going for RT again! This is my last year in CAT X!

Wish me luck !

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